we each see the world through the lens of our own experience, values and perspective, which is natural and normal. when that lens becomes too cloudy with our emotions and our ego’s response, we may misinterpret what we see or hear. i think we can all relate to having heard what we wanted to hear (or what we feared we would hear), versus what was truly said. sometimes at least for me, i find myself going into a conversation with an expectation of how it will go, what the other person will say and mean, how she/he will react to what i have to say.

this is allowing my ego to cloud the lens of my soul, and it’s very dangerous; it can result in misunderstanding and hurt feelings. first, i try to recognize when this is occurring, when my personal view on something is interfering with clear communication.  then, i try to see myself in the other’s shoes, and ask myself if i’m hearing what they are trying to communicate, or if i’m hearing though the filter of my own experience.

one of the best ways to ensure the lens is clear is to really pay attention to yourself, and deal with issues as they come up, difficulties, resentments etc.  it is important to be truthful with yourself about biases you may have, and how they got there, to ask you if they are truly serving you.  equally important is to really pay attention to what is actually in front of you, to try to see it from another angle, and to ask yourself what is real and what is not.